In Winter 2019, I looked at the world and what I saw disturbed me. There were a lack of opinions about movies in the world! Setting to work at once, I sought to rectify this travesty and started a blog with my very important reviews.
(Which I wrote for my college newspaper so yes this is just a shovelware site… But nevermind that!)
And I am happy to say that now that with my unique perspective on films, the field of movie criticism has definitively been saved. You’re welcome world.
Even with the world saved, I must continue my quest and will keep writing about movies. Inspired by my award-winning podcast Real Human Bings which dear reader, I am certain you are a big fan, I will endeavor to find the answers to movies but poorly every step of the way.
Likes: Kristen Chenowith gets to be outrageous as the thirstiest aunt ever. The visual gag of Alex Moffat blowing up Thanksgiving decorations with a bike pump is good. That’s about it.
Dislikes: Writing, pacing, theme, it’s all horrible. Why does this movie look like it had some production value behind it Netflix? (And why can’t I bring myself to stop watching?)
Bottom Line: There are so many better things to do than watch this movie. And yet…
1 out of 5. ◆◇◇◇◇
by Jacob Schermerhorn
The world is on fire. COVID is still raging through areas. Racial violence is still destroying families and communities. The election for the future of the United States and democracy is here. I should go do more phone banking. I’m in grad school and I have a midterm exam to write.
And I can’t stop watching The Holidate.
Even they don’t understand why I’m doing this!
Is it an avoidance tactic? Is it a previously undiscovered desire for masochism? Is it procrastination in its finest form, a Netflix movie?
I don’t know. All I know is I watched this film in ten-minute bursts. After getting fed up with it, I’d stop watching. But then I’d pick it up again later, get angry again and stop watching again. And so on until I finished all 100 minutes of it.
The premise is a classic romantic comedy set up in the vein of When Harry Met Sally, Sleeping With Other People, Friends with Benefits, The Ugly Truth etc, etc… Basically, can men and women be platonic friends without falling in love?
This time, it’s Sloane (Casey Roberts) as a single girl whose family is clamoring for her to finally find Mr. Right and Jackson (Luke Bracey) as a guy who wants a date for holiday parties without the emotional attachment. They have a meet cute in the mall and hatch a plan to celebrate holidays together.
And those are basically the stakes. Two detached 20(?)-something slackers who want a fellow person to make snide comments about other people at holiday parties: AKA a “holidate.”
Goddamn, why did I watch this movie?
But seriously, why are they even going to these parties? The characters don’t even seem to be enjoying themselves ever at them. They only ever interact with the same dozen or so people every time. Sloane’s family – trying (you can feel them trying and trying) to be delightfully off kilter like the family in While You Were Sleeping. – and Jackson’s comic relief friend (one of four people of color in this movie). So why do they act like attending a party solo is life or death? Sloane and Jackson’s lives together barely looks different from the “before” picture of them single.
Plus, Sloane’s plan to get her family off her back doesn’t even work! Each holiday goes through the same formula: Sloane’s mother or sister or someone tells her to find a real husband and not Jackson, a “crazy” set piece event happens (Sloane runs into her ex-boyfriend, Jackson blows off a finger with a firework, Sloane poops her pants after accidently taking laxatives, etc…) and Sloane and Jackson grow closer together.
“These potatoes are so creamy!”
For as much as, in a now hackneyed metacommentary, characters in the movie say they hate rom com contrivances, the movie can’t even pull off one competently. (Isn’t it Romantic, The Lovebirds, Always be My Maybe, all Netflix joints, pull this off way better than The Holidate)
And this movie is trying things. Weirdly ambitious shots are inserted into scenes with seemingly no consideration for what they are saying other than “This will look cool.” While planning for a wedding, the camera constantly spins around Sloane and her sister in law. While grocery shopping, the camera is inside the cart at a strange low angle. A map view of Chicago zooms in and out to different scene locations. There are whip pans at a drinking contest and slow motion at an egg hunt. Each technique is picked up, toyed with, and then discarded after that scene.
It baffles me why Netflix spent time and effort on this movie. Why does the orphanage in The Princess Switch look like it was decorated by someone who went to a Party City and the Holidate have the lighting, extras, and production value of something competent? The Princess Switch is cheesy and bad, but at least there was no accidently pooping scene in that movie.
“See Prince? No poop equals better movie!”
My (ironic or otherwise) love of bad movies has been proven before. It is an entire subgenre of movie criticism unto itself. But when the world seems on the brink of catastrophe, why am I drawn to similarly catastrophic movies? Why am I not picking out a better-quality guilty viewing?
I hope that once the election is over, once stress from grad school dissipates, once we are past this COVID nastiness, I will be able to move on from thinking about Holidate. Or else I really do think my sanity might be gone.
(I’m only half serious about Holidate making me avoid work of course. Good quality stuff has also made me procrastinate during this time too!)
A consistently good cartoon with deep themes delivers another excellent season.
Infinity Train (Season Three)
Likes: This show consistently tackles issues of trauma and intrinsic damage with thoughtfulness and empathy while still having time for humor. Excellent voice actors and a captivating soundtrack is an added plus. I cried several times watching.
Dislikes: I like that the series is compact (10 episodes per season) but I can’t help feeling the endings seem rushed with the ideas and the execution not always matching up. Hazel also feels a bit “Summer-Glau-in-a-Joss-Weedon-project-macguffiny” (if that makes sense)
Bottom Line: Hopefully a lot of people watch it on HBO Max, because otherwise, Infinity Train might be derailed. And that would be tragedy worse than the previous (and oh so obvious) pun.
4 out of 5. ◆◆◆◆◇
(Choo-choo! Spoiler station for all the series ahead!)
There is a special blend of animated cartoon in this era that falls somewhere between being for kids or for adults. These are the shows that can tackle heavy and heady themes while still being packaged for a young audience. It is a tough line to walk and I commend any show capable of the feat.
From season one of Infinity Train, it was clear that this show was going to be the latest to enter that category. Creator Owen Dennis previously worked on Regular Show, itself a show willing to edge into adult themes.
That season gave us the broad structure of an Infinity Train story arc. Skipping nuance and giving the broadest of strokes, season one centered on the internal struggles of Tulip Olsen (Ashley Johnson, probably known best for Last of Us) which were externalized (and ultimately actualized) by the seemingly infinite train car challenges Tulip grappled with. Season two was much the same except its protagonist was a mirror chrome version of Tulip, a human boy and a shapeshifting magical deer instead.
(Like I said, I skipped a lot of nuance)
Grace and Simon just want to see the world burn.
Season three gets away from Tulip or Tulip-derivative characters by showing us the story of leaders of the Apex, the season two wild child army antagonists. Grace (Kirby Howell-Baptiste, great side character in Barry and The Good Place) who is ruthless and manipulative toward her followers, and Simon (Kyle McCarley, “Hello professor!” for any Fire Emblem Three Houses fans…) who is strategically cunning but emotionally fragile.
As Grace and Simon are separated from their army raiding party and are forced to sojourn back through the train, they meet an enthusiastic and impressionable young girl passenger (and probable season four, if they get it, protagonist) Hazel (Isabella Abiera) and her stoic gorilla companion Tuba (Diane Delano).
Hazel is prime child raider material and from the jump, Grace and Simon plan to indoctrinate her into the Apex as they travel to their home car. As they travel through the train, Grace regains her empathy and sees a chance at redemption through the young girl.
I get the “clicheness” of this scene, but like, if you aren’t crying at this, you’re a monster.
The Apex are committed to increasing their passenger number as high as possible by destroying the train and its denizens, the “nulls.” In trying to manipulate Hazel, with an assist from reformed antagonist conductor and Apex messiah figure Amelia (Lena Headey), Grace herself ends up manipulated and turns her back on the Apex mission.
While Grace is saved by her challenges, Simon is heartbreakingly destroyed by them. His own trauma of abandonment ends up being too much. He brutally kills (?) Tuba by pushing her into the treads of the train and is going to do the same to Grace but instead himself is pretty definitively killed.
If that last paragraph revealed anything, it is that season three is more mature and depressing than one and two. Tulip and MT get their self-actualization, their happy endings. Simon, as a metaphor for descending and trapped by your trauma, is killed by it. It’s a heavy message to send, but a real one. Some people don’t recover from their emotional distress.
And even those that do, aren’t automatically happy. Although Grace is on a better path working toward self-improvement, unlike Tulip and MT, it’s pretty far from a happy ending. Hazel’s vehement refusal to continue along with Grace feels like a huge blow in the show. Grace has defeated Simon, returned home, and regained control of the Apex, but Hazel, her clearest chance and clear symbol of redemption, flat out rejected her. The climb toward self-recovery is a huge cliff with no footholds for Grace.
Yo, good for the cat having a romantic getaway (I assume) with Frank.
All this makes it seem like season three is all doom and gloom. Which, granted, looking at the wider picture, it is on some level. There is still plenty of levity and humor left in the show though. My personal favorite might come in the unexplained form of Frank the Bear, who takes care to redo his robe and asks visitors if they want pancakes while he’s shacking up with the Cat (Kate Mulgrew) in a cozy winter cabin.
On the spectrum of kid/adultish, high-concept, undervalued-by-mainstream animated shows, previous seasons might have trended toward Over the Garden Wall. This most recent one might be more of a last season of Samurai Jack, but it’s not yet a full Bojack Horseman. The good thing is that all those comparisons are great shows and Infinity Train is no exception.
This show has always balanced humor and darkness. Season Three tends toward the latter.
Search Party (Season Three)
Likes: This season continues to walk the incredibly subtle line between comedy and dark drama. Search Party has a tone unlike any other show.
Dislikes: I still can’t tell if the show thinks any character is redeemable (especially Dory). Also, Julian and Chantal’s storylines feel like a buildup to Season four rather than fully realized.
Bottom Line: Certain plot lines don’t feel fully developed, but Search Party still finds ways to twist and turn even in its third season.
3.5 out of 5. ◆◆◆⬖◇
by Jacob Schermerhorn
(You must search further for a non-spoiler review. Also, references to seasons one and two are included here.)
When I learned that Search Party was indeed coming back for a third season, I was pleased, but surprised. It felt like, after 2017, the series went totally dark.
Season three, released through HBO Max, previously TBS, does feel like a bit of a time capsule of an earlier, simpler time. One character even intones, “I don’t think people really care about millennials anymore. I feel like that talk has died down actually.”
No one could have predicted covid times though, and Search Party still makes for good quarantine viewing.
From the first episode of the first season, Search Party brilliantly rode a delicate line between comedy and dark thriller vibes. The antics of the main four Brooklynite hipsters stumbling their way through conspiracies, blackmail and crime coverups is the strength and appeal of this show. It continues that trend in the third season.
Like season two, this season sees how the main four react to the guilt of their killing and attempted coverup of P.I. Keith (Ron Livingston). However, now the public knows their crimes and they must defend themselves against a murder charge.
Shalita Grant is fantastic as a lawyer who’s much more than the one note character you might expect at first.
Perpetual pushover Dory (Alia Shawkat) has finally found her backbone. Under this pressure, she has become a diamond. She is confident, capable and ruthless when it comes to defending herself. By the end of the season, Dory has gotten to a point that it disgusts Drew (John Reynolds) and scares Portia (Meredith Hagner) and Elliot (John Early). Dory is the assertive badass she was searching for in season one, with the “Women leading Women” job she wanted, but she has become a monster in order to do it.
The other main three are equally involved in their guilty consciousness with Dory’s boyfriend Drew desperately destroying any possible incriminating evidence. (That swan video scene got me man…)
Airhead actress Portia moves from weirdo director Elijah’s (Jay Duplass) cult to a new one as a born-again Christian. (Her “Come to Jesus” moment hilariously occurs because she was looking for an outlet to charge her phone) Her Christian friends also signify a break with the group as Portia testifies against the others because she fell for a good cop routine. (No bad cop necessary)
Finally, the silver-tongued (and best dressed) Elliot is perhaps the most competent liar. He previously created a charity water bottle company out of thin air to get back $20 from an old college acquaintance in season one. (This season’s glimpses into his life outside the group hint at a wild time – “It’s a timeshare that used to belong to this older man who I used to let spoon me for Broadway box seats. Then ironically he fell out of one the box seats and he’s been in a coma for like a year.” – and I love it.)
At one point, Elliott and Portia are babysitters for a rich family in the Hamptons. They also tried to dye their hair. (Wish we had stayed there longer…)
In any case, Elliott is throwing him self headfirst into his wedding with Marc (Jeffrey Self) as well as a possible future as a Milo Yiannopoulos type gay alt-right winger.
The season is further buoyed by outstanding guest performances including Dory and Drew’s lawyers, millennial Cassidy Diamond (Shalita Grant) and over the hill Bob Lunch (Louie Anderson), creepy investor William Badpastor (Wallace Shawn), District Attorney Polly Danzinger (Michaela Watkins), and Fox News pundit Charlie Feeny (Chloe Fineman). Each has an undeniable “I’ve seen that person on the subway or on the street” quality to them.
The developments, which play out as a slow boil, show the main four once again gradually and epically spinning out. There are some seemingly meaningless plot threads, (Storylines with Julian (Brandon Micheal Hall) and Chantal (Clare McNulty) stuck out to me in particular), but otherwise, twists and reveals are well-paced. Which makes the conclusion a strange one.
At the end of the season, Dory is kidnapped by an obsessive stalker and forced to confess her story. As the camera slowly zooms out on her chained to a chair in a concrete room, I couldn’t help feeling like something was off. Search Party has always felt grounded in a way that makes the twists believable. This imagery is something out of Criminal Minds or You, it doesn’t feel right in Search Party.
But even with that said, I still am hopeful for the fourth season simply based on the skill and charisma Search Party’s actors always bring. It reportedly has already been filmed, so no searching involved anymore, now we only have to wait.
Not exactly humorous, the heart Space Force shows is nice.
Space Force (Season One)
Likes: A matter-of-factly inclusive and positively oriented message about humanity and the benefits of working together is nice for this current messy time.
Dislikes: All of the premises are theoretically funny, but they don’t deliver on screen. Also, random, but the daughter looked way older than high school age to me.
Bottom Line: Something isn’t gelling together here. I can see what it’s trying to do, but it doesn’t feel right.
3 out of 5. ◆◆◆◇◇
by Jacob Schermerhorn
Thinking about Space Force, my mind keeps wandering to larger topics like, when did America lose its collective fascination with the stars? Why did the government cut funding to the final frontier after so much time and effort? Was Trump serious all that time ago when he tweeted about a space force and they made the insignia looks like Star Trek?
Man, 2019 turned out to be a weird time huh? Weirder than 2020 maybe not but still.
In general, the thoughts highlighted just how strange a concept it is to hang a workplace comedy on. Especially for how normal and mainstream the show ends up being.
Decent and upstanding if stubborn and idiotic General Mark Naird (Steve Carrell) gets assigned to develop space force into an actual military branch while navigating crazy co-workers, giant egos, spies, government oversight, the Chinese, and his own fatherhood failures.
Take sitcom scenarios from shows like Parks and Recreation but instead of Pawnee, set it on a space base. And boom, that’s basically Space Force.
Co-creator Greg Daniels was also a major part in Parks and Rec, itself a series inspired by Steve Carrell’s show The Office, so this is not a new frontier for these producers to tread.
In fact, wacky side characters almost have one-to-one comparisons. Obnoxious social media director F. Tony Scarapiducci (Ben Schwartz) is Tom Haverford slash John Ralphio, dopey punching bag General Brad Gregory (Don Lake) is Jerry Gergich, sullen daughter Erin Naird (Diana Silvers) is April Ludgate, spaced-out engineers Eddie Broser (Chris Gethard) and Pella Bhat (Aparna Nancherla) are animal control guys Harris and Brett, and even a fouler-mouthed Councilman Jam in General Kick Grabaston (Noah Emmerich) and a more contentious Ann Perkins in Chief Scientist Adrian Mallory (John Malkovich, my personal pick for MVP).
(And those are literally just a few. Other talented folks involved include Lisa Kudrow, Tawny Newsome, Jimmy O. Yang, Roy Wood Jr., Jane Lynch, Patrick Warburton, Jessica St. Clair, Kaitlin Olson, and freaking Fred Willard! RIP.)
So then, what’s missing? Because, at the end of the day, while the aim is apparent, the effect didn’t usually make me laugh. The cast is talented and gives believable and effortful performances. The scenarios are, on paper, comedic. But, all in all, it unfortunately doesn’t gel together.
Maybe it’s the presentation? While The Office and Parks and Rec were shot like documentaries with the appropriate handheld cameras and talking heads, Space Force uses more of a film language instead. While I would agree with the sentiment that the mockumentary format is overdone now, perhaps its better suited for the wacky space workforce genre? I don’t know.
Cast is seriously talented and they do a good job.
One thing I really like beyond the comedy of Space Force was its heart. It’s casually inclusive of race and sexual orientations as more of an accepted fact than something to lampshade. It also has an undeniably pro-immigrant stance with the Space Force team pointedly being a collaborative effort with people from all sorts of different countries.
Above all, the message of Space Force is also a non-violent one with cooperation and peaceful means always being the correct ones. Even General Naird, who starts hawkish, becomes a character who ultimately choses potential treason over violent action.
In trying to deescalate a situation, Naird states the theme of Space Force in a surprisingly profound and (for me) moving speech.
“Forget history and you are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past. Forget how bad polio was, people stop taking vaccines,” Naird says, “Forget how bad world wars are, people start puffing out their chests. The real enemy is arrogance.”
I wish the show could be funnier, but Space Force’s message is one I can definitely get behind.
Likes: Lauren Lapkus is giving it her all in every scene and brings a chaotic energy which could be great in a different movie.
Dislikes: I’ve heard David Spade is a nice guy. That doesn’t mean he couldn’t have helmed an absolute abysmal excuse of a comedy movie.
Bottom Line: Move along, nothing to see here. Go listen to a Lauren Lapkus podcast instead.
1 out of 5. ◆◇◇◇◇
by Jacob Schermerhorn
The Wrong Missy takes place in that classic Happy Madison universe.
You know the one. It’s a universe where unattractive, unpleasant schlubs like Kevin James score hot wives, big houses and extravagant vacations all while treating each other to countless demeaning put downs and an insult comedy routine. If you’ve seen one (Grownups, Just Go With It, Blended, Murder Mystery, etc…), you’ve seen them all.
The big (not-secret) secret is none of them are really movies. They’re really excuses for Adam Sandler and his buddies to hang out and vacation at exotic locations.
In that sense, The Wrong Missy fits all those categories. David Spade stars as Timothy “Tim” Morris, an executive at some big undefined banking firm (White collar job, check). When Tim goes on a company retreat to Hawaii (Exotic location, check) hoping to score a big promotion, he accidently invites the wrong Melissa, “Missy,” a crazy, insufferable woman he had a horrible first date with. (“Hilarious” premise, check)
Side characters played by a variety of Sandler’s posse show up including Rob Schneider (Playing an offensive version of a person of color, check) and Nick Swardson. (When did he get so fat?, check) It also features cameos by Bobby Lee, Jorge Garcia, Roman Reigns and, of course, Vanilla Ice (Check check check)
One major difference is that the female lead opposite isn’t a Happy Madison regular like Maya Rudolph, Drew Barrymore or Jennifer Aniston, it’s a comedy nerd superstar but mainstream unknown Lauren Lapkus as Missy.
Just one top five list of many.
Lapkus is a comedic force in her own right with a variety of podcasts, TV appearances, and live shows and seriously deserves better than this movie. She does all the heavy lifting in The Wrong Missy with most scenes asking her to do some ridiculous behavior while everyone else puts down her or acts as straight man.
A big wasteful shame is that Lapkus gives scenes her all. She brings a chaotic, energetic and unhinged performance that, alongside more complementary characters or a more absurb filmmaking style, could have been absolutely fantastic. (The underrated Between Two Ferns movie which Lapkus is also my personal MVP in, comes to mind) Spade and co., on the other hand, it seems can barely move as any of their scenes drag through molasses.
Which is one of the (many) issues I have with the Happy Madison universe films. Why is Tim so desirable? I get Missy’s positives and how Tim falls in love with her for living in the moment, being wild and free, etc… (Very manic pixie dream girl when I think about it now…) But Tim doesn’t have much of a personality beyond exasperated.
In something like the Grownups saga, at least we see Adam Sandler’s character is fun and, in his own way, a caring father. On the flip side, Tim gets an overbearing mother, general anxiety and worriedness and no particular professional acumen. Yet one of the scenes posits that two women are attracted enough to him to have a three-way.
That fact that, in real life, Lapkus is 34 and Spade is 55, makes the paring even more head scratching and creepy. (That’s a twenty-one-year age difference! Twenty-one! The difference between them can legally drink in the U.S.!)
Toward the beginning of the movie, at the bad first date, Missy even lampshades the difference. (“The age thing doesn’t concern me. What are you, 65? I know that’s a blonde wig and I don’t care!”) And that’s all the time the movie spends on it, which doesn’t make it any less weird.
I get that analyzing any of this movie is a trap. The Happy Madison universe is a vacation, not a work of art or effort (except Lapkus). But I can’t help it. As long as they keep making these movies, these movies will continue to give me fascination and frustration.
Long-form improv done well can feel like circus acrobats performing.
Middleditch and Schwartz
Likes: Both actors are willing to accelerate and escalate situations to hilarious effect. Long Form improv at its prime and finest.
Dislikes: Only two people on stage? Why not get some other guys up there?
Bottom Line: If you think you don’t like improv, just give one of these episodes a chance and see what you think afterward.
4.5 out of 5. ◆◆◆◆⬖
In the war for use of the word “Improv”, the Short Form version clearly won out in the minds of the public. Mainstream success of Who’s Line is it Anyway? popularized the style with games, hard set rules, and quick pacing.
In popular culture, the word became a punchline to describe a weirdo or dork. If you agree to go to their show, a living hell awaits you! Cringy Michael Scott, makes it all the more cringey-er by pretending he has a gun in all scenes! The whole affair is a horribly unfunny practice!
So the fact that Long Form improv is grouped in with those concepts is strange. Long Form, with its “Finding the game” mentality, requires audiences to be engaged and paying attention to a longer narrative structure rather than a quick punchline. There are rules to Long Form, they are just more flexible.
Point being, plenty of Short Form comedy specials exist, but Long Form specials are much rarer. Sure, podcasts like Comedy Bang Bang, Improv4humans, Womp it Up, the Teacher’s Lounge, and many more have existed for years on the internet, but traditional comedy specials? The ones filmed before an audience in a big concert hall? Those are not common for Long Form improv.
Ya’ll know those chairs are gonna get played with.
Which makes the comedy special Middleditch and Schwartz a well needed addition to the entertainment world. For three episodes, comedians Thomas Middleditch and Ben Schwartz improvise entire hour-long narrative based around a short conversation with an audience member. Subjects include such things as a wedding, a law class, and a job interview.
Throughout the scenes characters are introduced and juggled between the two entertainers who will switch places, introduce new concepts, and forget names they previously established.
The reason why it works so well is Middleditch and Schwartz have a long friendship and history of performing together. There’s obviously a shared-mind/group-think type thing going on where each understands the other, their capabilities, their tendencies, and their intentions.
Sometimes it requires a flowchart to understand. But it’s still funny, I promise!
For example, in one scene, Schwartz realizes Middleditch’s character is supposed to be short and scrambles to place a chair for added height over the other person. Middleditch cheekily then turns around, making Schwartz have to get off and drag the chair to a new position. Another example is in a different scene when Middleditch is opening a door and sees Schwartz adopting a gargoyle-like stance and gives him a look like “Are you sure about this?” Or a different scene where they discuss their actual real life toilet paper usage habits.
Both Middleditch and Schwartz can bring a lot of chaotic energy to whatever they do (just watch James Corden attempt to corral them) and combining them together is a recipe for success if you set them up and let them go to work. From the early days of Collegehumor, to more recent projects like Bajillion Dollar Properties, Conan, the Sonic movie and Zombieland sequel, they exist in a hyperactive but hyperfocused mindset to be willing to go to the next level for the comedy.
Watching the special, you can clearly see two comedians with someone they enjoy acting at the peak of their talent. The special is special for Long Form improv, but also stands on its own as just a good time.
Now, just some random clips that I love of these guys.
My innate admiration of the actors doesn’t outweigh the show’s overall unevenness.
Robbie (Season 1)
Likes: Mary Holland’s performance helps every scene she is in. And I know the other people involved are capable of good comedy.
Dislikes: This story about a doofy slacker doesn’t have enough to differentiate it from all those other ones.
Bottom Line: I am still rooting for this show even if it wasn’t all that good.
2.5 out of 5. ◆◆⬖◇◇
by Jacob Schermerhorn
Stop me if you heard this before.
The titular Robbie (Rory Scovel) is a 30-something slacker stuck in a rut. He loves basketball and is following in his father’s, Robert Walton Sr. (Beau Bridges), coaching footsteps by helming a church-league team. He works a dead-end job at an ice cream store and has recently learned he’s the father of an eleven-year-old son from an ex-girlfriend, Ava (Sasheer Zamata).
Robbie’s also an idiot with an inflated ego who regularly tramples on other people to get what he wants. His schemes often backfire and he ends up looking like a fool instead. But everyone accepts him at the end of the day and tolerates his presence because…
Robbie doesn’t have a ton of redeemable qualities…
Because the show’s named after him I guess? Throughout the 8 episodes released by Comedy Central on YouTube, I couldn’t tell why the other characters liked him.
Relatable character growth requires a character to have flaws, but usually they come with some strengths. Robbie isn’t intelligent, charming, lovable, empathic, or competent. Centering the entire show around his life takes a defter hand than Robbie is capable of.
Which sucks to write because I really like all of the people involved in this show. A core cast of Rory Scovel, Mary Holland, Sasheer Zamata, and Beau Bridges is a great one on paper. Writing by comedians like Scovel, Anthony King, Sean Clements, and Shaun Diston, is also a plus. And yet the premise of Robbie is trite, especially from the perspective of a 30 something straight white guy.
Mary Holland is a treasure in general and to this series.
There are still positives amidst that negativity. Mary Holland as Robbie’s crazy new girlfriend Janie got consistent laughs as Janie already has one foot out of reality and Holland can sell the punchlines. Minor roles by Jordan Scovel, Lennon Parham, and Carl Tart also deserve honorable mentions.
Additionally, the series episodes showed encouraging signs of ramping up near the back half. (Robbie vs. Ava vs. Danielle being my personal favorite with enough stuff for every character to do) If Comedy Central picks it up for a second season, I hope it’s a sign of things to come.
In the end, I am still hoping for the success of this show. The people involved are funny and deserve chances to make things. Just because this one didn’t hit for me doesn’t mean that it won’t later. The game’s not over yet.
A virtual NFL draft holds no surprises as it ends up being presented the same old way as always.
The 2020 NFL Draft
Likes: The first few times I saw heart tugging commercials about supporting workers in the coronavirus was nice. (Fifteenth time… not so much) There was also an outpouring of monetary support as well. (6.6 million!)
Dislikes: Roger Goodell continues to have the charisma of a brown paper bag, even while trying to lampshade football fan’s dislike of him.
Bottom Line: Only football nerds care about the draft. I doubt it was particularly engaging for anyone outside that demo.
2 out of 5. ◆◆◇◇◇
by Jacob Schermerhorn
The unprecedented times we are now living through have forced the entertainment industry to adapt and alter presentation.
Some have started podcasts, some have turned to YouTube, others have been Twitch streaming. Even Saturday Night Live has seemed to find its footing online after a shaky start. (Which is a whole other interesting phenomenon of established traditional artists encroaching on people who have been hustling in the digital age forever, but I digress.) The point is people are creative and find ways to adapt.
On the other hand, judging by the handling of the 2020 NFL draft, the National Football League has yet to embrace the possibilities of this age.
Okay, well that moment was kind of funny, you got me there!
The NFL Draft is a yearly event where teams select players from the college level to play for them. There was a bad but endlessly entertaining Kevin Costner movie about it and if you think too long about it, the similarities to a slave auction (especially when taking the NFL Combine where athletes are tested for their physical skills) are disturbing.
Typically, the ceremony takes place in a big event hall with top talents invited to attend and ascend the stage when their name is called. Although the NFL Draft has grown in size, the presentation has remained the same and is, what I would call, stodgy and old-fashioned.
While technically ESPN and NFL Network are two separate channels covering the draft, on a surface level, nothing is different except the heads that are talking. (I switched between both, but ultimately turned to Bleacherreport’s live reporting on YouTube.) Sports analysts discuss the merits of particular players, their predictions for when popular players will be taken, and about the sanctity and importance of this event and the league itself.
And for the first virtual draft, not much changed. All of the introductory packages for players were filmed beforehand, draftees were interviewed by video, and Commissioner Roger Goodell read the selections from his basement. I understand that changing formats for this new situation is difficult, but nothing about the virtual experience enhanced or aided the presentation.
This is pretty much the exact same view you would see in a typical draft day.
To me, the sentiment I felt was indicative of the league’s greater inability to adapt. Stringent penalties for marijuana even as the rest of the country accepted its legality were only dropped this year. Colin Kaepernick was considered locker room poison and the NFL squashed even discussing controversial issues. Cheerleaders are still suing teams for unfair labor practices. The long-term trauma and injury of playing the game has been swept under the rug. These are problems born out of the same system.
My negative opinion may be in the minority. This draft set viewership records and coaches and general managers have expressed interest incorporating more virtual work based on this experience.
However, the fact still remains: the National Football League is concerned with maximizing profits (duh) and doing as little work as possible to get there. The 2020 NFL Draft just proves that to me.
Before I conclude, I would be remiss to not mention the league commissioner, Roger Goodell.
The definition of an “Empty Suit,” it is abundantly clear that Goodell is concerned with expanding the NFL’s profits and not much else. (A franchise team in London has discussed in greater detail than improving player safety)
So having he and Bud Lite team up in order to lampshade the tradition of booing the commissioner felt hollow and desperate.
At least it’s for a good cause, maybe?
For viewers of the draft, maybe take a suggestion from Pat McAfee, next time, just watch Goodell on mute. It’s a much better experience.
I share a lot of Pat’s thoughts about this draft which makes me redundant in this biz. Oh well.
I mean, I wanted all these people to be in jail right from episode 1.
Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness
Likes: There is a definite “Can’t look away from a car crash” quality to the people and events in this series. What an insane story to document for over five years.
Dislikes: A “Save the Tigers” message or similarly interesting premise is vastly overshadowed by a “Laugh at the freaks” theme instead.
Bottom Line: Unfocused but insane, Tiger King can either make you stop and stare, mouth agape, or shut off Netflix in disgust.
2.5 out of 5. ◆◆⬖◇◇
by Jacob Schermerhorn
Sometimes luck is half the battle. Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness was certainly a beneficiary of shelter in place/quarantine/social distancing. Although Netflix keeps its numbers obscured, we do know that Tiger King averaged over 19 million viewers over its first ten days. That’s a lot of eyeballs for the weirdest documentary series Netflix ever produced.
In the personal opinion of this set of eyeballs, even after a bonus episode designed to wrap up certain storylines, (hosted by Joel McHale for some reason?) I am still left asking “So what?” after 8ish hours of viewing.
Blackfish, another documentary highlighting cruelty to animals, managed to make me sympathize with the former SeaWorld employees who appeared to have true regret. In Tiger King, I felt that virtually all the major characters deserved to go to jail with Joe Exotic. Unlike Blackfish, in Tiger King, my sympathy was exclusively reserved for the tigers, not the humans.
But maybe that’s the point?
One thing that fascinated me is how different the people were who are drawn to big cats. Carole Baskin (top right) seems to have an army of middle aged soft-spoken cat ladies while Joe Exotic (top left), and Jeff Lowe (bottom right) attract aggressive macho dudes.
The story of Tiger King is a twisting tale about the underground world of exotic animal traders and the eccentric characters that inhabit it. To give a short summary:
Joe Exotic (real name Joseph Allen Maldonado-Passage, né Schreibvogel), featured on the posters and trailers, is the bleached blonde, gay-polygamist-paranoid-flamboyant-magician-musician-animal keeping main character of the tale. Carole Baskin, a cat lady meme personified, is Exotic’s biggest enemy and an animal rights activist who wants to put Exotic out of business. Through escalation and brinkmanship, Exotic eventually hires a hitman to kill Baskin which lands him in prison.
Oh yes, and Exotic also runs for president and governor of Oklahoma.
I think that if Joe Exotic and Donald Trump were switched at birth, we wouldn’t notice that much of a difference. As a total illiterate in psychology, I feel like they both suffer from a similar psychosis.
Other characters include Bhagavan Antle, a boisterous Penn Jillette type who runs a sex personality cult at his zoo, Jeff Lowe, a Las Vegas thug who ends up taking control of Exotic’s zoo, Joseph Dial, campaign manager for Exotic’s presidential and gubernatorial runs, Saff Saffery, a former animal wrangler for Exotic who lost his hand at the zoo, Rick Kirkham, producer for Exotic’s failed reality TV show, and many other hanger-ons, employees, volunteers, lawmen (Amanda Green, personal MVP, is the exact person I imagine as a federal prosecutor) and spouses that would take another fifteen paragraphs to summarize.
Which highlights the main issue that I had with the unbalanced, albeit, enthralling documentary. The focus on the absurd characters left me asking at the end of every episode, “So what?”. At the end of the day, the series is more concerned with illustrating the crazy path that led to Exotic’s incarceration, not the overarching systemic elements that allowed it to happen in the first place.
(I do understand the difficulties for the creators of Tiger King though. With the tangled web of a story they had to unravel, I can see how telling it there would be missed opportunities.)
However, some fixes seem obvious to me. Throughout the entire series, I kept expecting (and desiring) an expert. There is no science given for how to properly house and feed a tiger, so I had nothing to compare to Exotic’s habit of collecting roadkill or dumpster diving discarded meat from Walmart. I assume that’s bad for tigers, but I still don’t know for certain, and the documentary never clarifies.
In fact, Tiger King doesn’t seem to be interested in clarifying how serious the tiger issue is or the laws that allow private citizens to keep big cats. What I remember instead about the legal issues is Carole Baskin dressing up in leopard print while in the halls of Congress. I remember the colorful personalities, not the true issues or stakes.
I didn’t even talk about how the series spent an entire episode on a claim that Baskin fed her first husband to tigers.
I am still struggling to find the value in Tiger King beyond a bunch of weirdos in a niche, bizarre field of work. A clear focus or thesis isn’t required in all documentaries, but Tiger King could have benefited from one.
Behind the scenes look is interesting, but is it sustainable?
XFL 2020 season
Likes: Behind the scenes look into how a game actually runs is fascinating to a football nerd. New rules are exciting and solve some long time NFL issues.
Dislikes: Uneven level of play and perhaps flash in the pan interest from viewers like me.
Bottom Line: For now, I’ll stay tuned. Who’s to say how long that will last?
3 out of 5. ◆◆◆◇◇
By Jacob Schermerhorn
Ah yes, football in springtime, the white whale of broadcast stations everywhere. Unless you like to go on deep dives of the combine and draft talk, spring is a dead zone for football fans with more interesting action going on with March Madness.
“If only we could harness the 16.5 million National Football League viewers who tune in during fall,” television executives say, “Imagine the profits we could rake in year-round with this sport!”
Although many alternatives to the big bad NFL have been floated over the years (Arena Football, the Alliance of American Football, the XFL in 2001) none have lasted long or achieved major success. Factors like botched money management, a lack of endorsement deals, a dearth of talent, or just no viewership have sunk these leagues each time.
With that being said, surprisingly, I want this iteration of the XFL to stay around and I think it has the greatest potential to.
The XFL is the brainchild of WWE head honcho Vince McMahon which originally failed 19 years ago. Similar to that time, its draw is as a counter to the NFL which is portrayed as a stuffy, rules-heavy, “No Fun” League. The XFL, which doesn’t stand for anything as far as I can tell, is very consciously branded as being fan-first, ultra-accessible, and extreme. Slogans like “Less stall, more ball” power the marketing of this upstart football league.
And I was ready to hate it. I really was. Everything from the try-hard and in your face marketing campaign to McMahon’s personality, which I cannot stand, made me think the XFL was something I would deride. I was wrong.
I mean, I know it’s silly considering how macho the NFL acts too, but this is just a lot guys… They all look like they’re going to beat you with the football.
One of the gimmicks of the XFL is the access the broadcast team has to the players and coaches. Cameras follow along on the sidelines for up to the minute interviews, locker room speeches, and (most interesting to me) coaches playcalling. This reality television version of football has a lot of DNA leftover from the WWE which itself achieves an energetic behind the scenes look and feel. While WWE competition is planned out in advance of the event, the XFL is live.
As a football nerd who spent many hours learning the sport from video games, hearing a coach bark out a play like “Z slide, trips right, 21 ace dancer” and then get an explanation from Greg McElroy in real time was a real treat. Seeing the process of a play going from the offensive coordinator down to a quarterback who must communicate to his entire squad put the chaotic energy of a game into perspective. Football is a complicated game and this presentation of it really made me see how easy it is for players and coaches to make mistakes.
Jim Zorn, Seattle Dragons Head Coach: I’m gonna cover my mouth so no one can read my lips while I call the play in.
While many coaches were not prepared for how much access the broadcast had to their comms, it is an invaluable look into the inner workings of a team for an unabashed football nerd like me. I am interested to see if players and coaches will change their style for the XFL as time progresses.
An additional factor that might cause coaches and players to change their style are the new rule changes. Most of them are interesting wrinkles that, at least to me, have sped the game’s pace. The play clock is shorter, defenders can get away with rougher tactics, kickoffs are mostly returned and the 1, 2, or 3-point options after scoring a touchdown keeps the scoring interesting.
As effusive as this review has turned out to be so far however, I am still cautious about crowning the XFL the new king of football. Much of its draw comes from its novelty which, as with all leagues, will erode eventually. I am reserving judgement until the end of the season and we can fully jump into viewership numbers, but truthfully, I am dubious. I could be wrong though; stranger things have happened in sports and life.
(Hey though, how about the hubris of naming a blog “Movie Thoughts” huh? I kind of knew that someday I’d want to write about something else, there is plenty of television out there that I have thoughts on. Maybe I should have gone with “Entertainment Thoughts” instead. Oh well. If you’re reading this far, then it means you’ve accepted it. So I thank you for your understanding dear reader.)
UPDATE: As of April 13, 2020, the XFL’s parent company filed for Title 11 bankruptcy. With players, coaches, employees and related companies likely to not recieve any payout from this action, it’s a sad story all around. Covid-19 hit at the exact wrong time and shutdown what could have developed into an interesting feature of the football world. My sympathy goes out to the city of St. Louis in particular as they have had multiple franchises pulled from their locale. Maybe next time!
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Real Human Bing Movie Thoughts 